Everyone knows confidence when they see it; but seemingly no one can actually describe what goes into it or how to get it. The Nerd's Guide to Being Confident is an unconventional way of looking at one of the most basic and obvious human traits and what one can do to gain a little more of it without feeling like a phony. Laughter included.
©2013 Mark Manson (P)2013 Audible Inc.
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"A More-Than-Pleasant Surprise"
Anything with "The Nerd's Guide to" in the title always stokes my curiosity because I'm a major one. There were a couple of doubts that voiced themselves when I was considering buying this title, including the brevity of the recording and the fact that anything with "Confident" in the title is probably no more than a hyped-up pep talk, but alas, I decided to buy it anyway because, hey, it's only five bucks!
I was blown away, in a good way, by the ingenuity, practicality, simplicity, and impact that this author's writing had on me. I've just finished the book, so time will tell as to whether its writings make a long-term impact on my life, but if the tangible results are as impressive as the subjective conceptual amazement that I experienced while listening to this book, then this will prove to be the most life-changing books per-minute of any to which I've ever listened.
The author has an extremely entertaining and witty way of putting things that guys (at least I) deal with every day and offers--without bull--real ways to deal with it and change it (if change is actually what's called for). I'm a huge fan of the sarcasm-laden way in which he explains the foolproof way to make your life suck as much as possible, opening your eyes with every bullet point. The outro to the book is worth listening to once a day, every day, where he tells the sad story of most guys' normal mode of thinking and how, no matter what they have *going* for them, they always find a way (and when I say "they," I mean "I" also) to envy the next guy rather than have true appreciation for what they've already got.
Mark has sucker-punched me in the brain in the funniest way possible with this book, and I would (and will) highly recommend this book, and find and sign up for the author's blogs.
I didn't think this was as bad as all the reviewers were going on about. Yes, the focus was more for adult males, but I gleaned some useful information from it. But hey it was free so I'm not complaining. I usually give free audio's about 10 minutes and if they don't jive with me I delete and move on and I finished this one. Thanks audible for the freebie.
"Profanity and Shock-Value Content, But Instructive"
I think the narration suited the content very well. However, I absolutely didn't expect the f-bombs and other profanity in a self-help book. An autobiography, comedy, or fiction... perhaps, but not with this. I identify as a nerd, but I'm less likely to identify with this book than might a 20-something male with socialization issues.
In short, you can absolutely get nuggets of value from this book, but you have to shift through a bit of angst-y window dressing to get there.
I didn't feel like Manson understood his topic as it applies to women, nor did he make much effort to reach out to them.
Irritation, but also genuine admiration for a few very good observations that I'd love to deliver to my own boys... through the Mom filter.
Some great advice, but not what I expected based on the title alone. I am recommending this book to friends, but with the caveat that they understand what they're getting.
"do not wast your time"
As other reviewers have noted, this book is geared to the 18-30 male. He has a few interesting insights. Given the shortness of the books, those insights are still too few and far between. Much of it is simply ramblings of a blogger with all the negative connotations intended. The author is way too concerned about sex and does expound crudely for no apparent reason. Mr Manson is clearly confident and happy with his sexual prowess, but I do not think he will really help anyone gain confidence and is not even funny.
"For under 30 straight men. Maybe."
I downloaded Mark Hanson's "The Nerd's Guide to Being Confident" (2013) right before heading off for a day trip to Mt. Baldy. By the time I realized I was so totally NOT the target audience for this book, I had no signal and couldn't download a different book for the drive - so I listened anyway.
I'm not a recent male college grad with self esteem issues on my second or third real job, trying to get laid by a woman in 3 dates or less, as cheaply as possible. I am a straight woman, and I've dated more than one man who has (intuitively) followed Hanson's advice. Dated them once, and definitely no sex. Maybe a polite peck on the cheek.
Not that some of Hanson's advice isn't really good, because it is. Have varied interests. Don't compromise ethical or moral beliefs to date a woman. Don't use time worrying about why someone doesn't want to spend time with you or trying to get them interested - find someone who doesn't waste your time. Adjust your language so you don't mistake your (often temporary) feelings for what you are. Good hygiene is a necessity.
What doesn't work that Hanson advises is being a c**** a** that only talks about himself and his interests. Unless you happen to do something really, really, interesting (maybe you've discovered a brand new energy source that will also solve the drought? You work for JPL/CalTech and just discovered life on another planet?), there has to be give and take. Quite frankly, any girl that doesn't want to share at least a few things about herself is just shining you on to get the date over with, doesn't want you to know anything about her, and will never return your calls; or she has serious self esteem issues of her own. And if some girl does go to bed with you, worry about what she wants, not just what you are going to get out of it. Have some pride in what you do.
According to Hanson, "Some people think I'm an idiot" (from his website). I don't think he's a COMPLETE idiot, just a partial one.
"Too much garbage to sift through"
Socially inept male from late teens to early twenties.
The profanity and writing about people, especially women, like they were objects for your personal fulfillment.
His idea of confidence comes off as a narcissistic self-absorption with little to no regard for others. It’s as though considering the opinions of others is indicative of lack of confidence in your own, therefore you need not care what others think unless it benefits you in some way. And if others don’t like you for this, then that's their problem. There’re plenty of other fish in the sea (this applies to friends as much as it applies to women).
The book isn’t completely valueless. There are a few nuggets here and there, but just way too much trash to sift through in order to get them. Also, the narrator was pretty good.
"Depressing, Foul-Mouthed Rambling on Selfishness"
You shouldn't waste your money, time, or mood. Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" if you need confidence.
"I didn't expect the adult language"
Confidence here is defined from an adult dating perspective. The language was offensive.
Self help books shouldn't need to include warnings for offensive content.
All the f-bombs and sexual inuendo.
"Oh, thank goodness – this was a free download."
It was free, so I took a shot; when I was thinking I paid for it I was a little worried about my sanity.
Apparently, in Mark Manson’s world, you can only be a “nerd” if you’re male.
Apparently, in Mark Manson’s world, a big part of “confident” means “feeling able to pick up hot girls”.
Apparently, in Mark Manson’s world, giving advice means putting down all the other guides out there, and then proceeding to follow precisely in their footsteps.
To the privileged whiny twenty-something white male who is apparently his target audience, Manson recommends practicing gratitude. I’m worlds away from his target audience, but I’m going to follow his advice right now: I am grateful that I didn't pay anything for this audiobook, because it’s two months past the time I would have been allowed to return it for a refund.
Gosh. I feel all warm and fuzzy.
"Not totally devoid of value"
Written for young men, I think the author provides a couple of good insights into gaining self-confidence. However, it is mostly fluff and will not help anyone gain insight into their own problematic behaviors or what they themselves may be lacking.
Read this very short lecture simply for amusement and not as a self-help book!
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