Good communiation is essential to any healthy relationship, whether it's between spouses, family members, friends, or co-workers. In this book Susan Chapman, a marriage and family therapist and a longtime meditation teacher, explains how mindfulness can be brought to bear in the way we speak and listen to each other so that we can strengthen our connections and better accomplish our goals. Drawing on Buddhist principles and on her training as a psychotherapist, Chapman explains how the practice of mindfulness - learning to become fully present in the moment - makes it possible for us to listen more deeply to others and to develop greater clarity and confidence about how to respond.
Chapman highlights five key elements of mindful communication: silence, mirroring, encouraging, discerning, and responding, and she dedicates a chapter of the book to each. Other topics include identifying your communication patterns and habits; uncovering the hidden fears that often sabotage communication; staying open in the midst of difficult conversations so that we can respond wisely and skillfully; and learning how mindful communication can help us to become more truthful, compassionate, and flexible in our relationships.
©2012 Susan Gillis Chapman (P)2014 Audible Inc.
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"Delivers on message, in a Clear and Meaningful Way"
Yes. the message and information is timeless. I've studied Buddhism, and thought there would be more emphasis in that arena, but not so. It's more Imago Therapy principles, and the mindfulness aspect is about becoming more aware (through exercises and observation) of how we communicate and react. I've listened, read and studied messages on wholeness for years, and this book is hopeful, inspiring and actionable. It's not a book you read or listen to and walk away asking now what. There are exercises that are simple, relatable and provide results (like stopping for 3 seconds, every couple hours to be silent) I was amazed at how this exercise affected me.
The red, yellow, green light concept (the colors represent a mental or communication state, with red being hostile or shut-down, ect) is a bit of an issue. It's not hard to grasp what the intent is in using this analogy, but how are we as non-therapists, suppose to be able to identify and alter our behavior successfully using this technique? I think in professional therapy it would work, but in a self-help setting; not so much.
She at times sounded condescending, and high pitched. Definitely needs to re-think that young child voice (pain for the ears!)
Overall, I highly recommend this book because the information is accessible, not too intense, and overall so helpful in helping people take responsibility for their experience, thus living in their power (not as a victim, rescuer, or persecutor)
"Caution: Textbook Madness!"
I would recommend this book in another format. Too much information to absorb without some reflection. Imagine a bumpy road. Easier to pass over slowly for a smoother ride.
I needed to understand how to allow myself to connect I have issues of abandonment and alcoholism in my family. I do not allow people close even when they should be. I'm only half way through the audiobook , and I recommend it highly for communicating and connecting with others .
It's very easy to listen to also . Thanks!!!
"Great self help material, worth your time :-)"
I was always having difficulties with conflicts, especially in my love life. So I've began to put to practise the 3 lights technique with my sweetheart and we have moved past so many layers off past trauma just by understanding, compassion and mindfulness., using the 3 lights technique for a start.
"A book about empathy"
It focuses on the empathy and loosing the concept ( like in the movies) of villains and heroes. But I felt that it relies on the hope that not only you'll put yourself in the other person's shoes but that the other person will do the same, in reality this doesn't happens all the time, you cant control that and sometimes people do bad things or behave like assholes, and you just cant make them turn green again.
You have to listen to it several times to really get it in.
I bought the book because I was very jumpy, stressed out. And the book gave me a calming effect, similar as chamomile tea. And also I started meditating, thanks to the author.
"Insightful and poignant"
I enjoyed it very much. The Author's experience is rich and meaningful and it is clearly illustrated with relatable examples and stories. The insight provided herein is extremely valuable to anyone, especially if you struggle with communication in general.
"85% meditation related, 15% about communication"
No. I'm not interested in meditation related material. I do believe it can be beneficial, but it's not what I'm interested in.
Same as above.
The reading performance was the quality I expected.
Disappointment. I had expectations of the science of communication, but the content of the book didn't meet that expectation in the way I was looking for.
I bought this book with the expectation that it would be a university level research driven book about the science of communication. I wanted to analyze, not meditate.
"Good content, but maybe better in print"
The author gives great real life examples which emphasize the point she's trying to get at.
Maybe I'll look at a print version of one of her other books, but not an audio version. I buy audiobooks to listen while I commute to work, and the material is difficult to focus on.
She reads well, but I don't think she brings much to the experience for this type of book.
Essentially, I think we take what the other party to a conversation is saying too personally. We need to truly listen to each other, and try to have an understanding of where the other person is coming from.
"Interesting and helpful"
The book met my expectations and it is one I will have to come back to. The narrator was very good as well. I would recommend it.
"Excellent insight into a complex field"
Content is insightful incisive and potentially life changing. I needed to listen repeatedly as I am not a psychologist but found it very enlightening. The narrator is too fast though. A slower pace with appropriate pauses would be valuable.
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