Are you the Fallback Girl? If you've ever found yourself in a relationship that feels and seemingly looks like one, but you're struggling with commitment, or you've been in the ambiguous territory of a "casual relationship", you've likely tried to change them, wondered what you did to cause this, what you can do to win their love and commitment, or even whether you're going crazy.
Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is the definitive guide to understanding the relationship between emotionally unavailable men and the women who love them. From explaining how and why they blow hot and cold to where that future they promised went to, how you've ended up being a booty call, why you've been together for a gazillion years but aren't going anywhere, and more importantly how and why you're involved with them in the first place, all of the answers are here.
You know you're dealing with unavailability when you ask stuff like: What happened to that great guy from the beginning? Why won't he break up or stay away if he doesn't want to commit? What the hell did I do to make him disappear? Is he going to leave her for me? It's because he's shy/busy/scared of his feelings, isn't it? Inspired by the real-life adventures in unavailability of Natalie Lue and the readers of her site, BaggageReclaim.com.
Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is an empowering, entertaining, and inspiring read that will wise you up to pitfalls such as men who aren't over their exes, Future Fakers, guys who have more baggage than a Heathrow terminal, and reappearing childhood sweethearts. If you want to understand your own availability and why commitment in a healthy relationship is eluding you, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is your guide to being available and attracted to healthy, available partners.
Back in the summer of 2005, Natalie Lue was a single advertising executive wondering out loud on her blog why she had a penchant for unavailable men. Using her site, BaggageReclaim.com, to answer that question while transforming her life, her blog has become a go-to source for understanding emotional unavailability, commitment, dating, relationships and self-esteem while inspiring many thousands of people to change their own relationship habits.
©2011 Natalie Lue (P)2015 Audible, Ltd
THIS BOOK IS GOLD. After professionally counselling, every attempt to make it work, and hundreds of hours spent analysing my relationship (let's not mention the Goggling!), I was finally able to truly see the problem with my relationship: my man is 'emotionally unavailable'.
If you - or any of your girlfriends - keep (and keep and keep) going back to a relationship with an unavailable man (or like me, consistently choose this type) this could change your life! The author encourages you to look at your own behaviour, self-esteem, values and boundaries (who knew you'd sacrificed them all to win his love?) There are also soo many examples of unavailable men, supported with explanations of WHY they're like that - and why you put up with it. This means you can stop over-analysing! When you see that your situation is NOT unique (it's eerily cookie-cutter to thousands of others in the same boat with the same men), you can cease making excuses for them. Coming to understand your own part in this dynamic will help you to kick your bad habits and finally get on the course to happiness - with the RIGHT GUY.
If you want to stop clinging to old memories of how perfect they were in the beginning, move past obsessively wondering what you can do to get back to that place (where they were so nice and promised the world), and actually get on with living your life, get this book!
Thank you, Natalie :) xx
"An unavailable, fall back's girl momentary realizations verbalized"
This book was, for me, the streaming verbalization of the momentary realizations that passed through my mind many times through my focus on self discovery. No, she's not a scientist, nor does she claim to be. This isn't some scientific study on why some people end up in crappy relationships. This is a streaming reminder that your life is your main focus, that you can actually be the problem, but that it's part of learning how to bring happiness to yourself. I'm fortunate to live a life that is dictated by my own wishes and wants, and listening to this book solidified how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to look for, and want, and only accept quality. There are many wolves in sheep clothing, but being the one to try to shave it off is a waste of time. Take the book for what it is - a reminder to you in a time when you may be struggling like I am to assert your self esteem and be ok with having that power. I'm a fixer. If you're a fixer, just try it, you can always return it, but personally, I already know I will be listening to this the second I fall back into my cycle of self sabotage.
Thank you Natalie for just being honest and realistic, and not a male basher.
"100% Yes. "
If you're even looking at this review, answer is yes, definitely buy the book. It is fantastic! More amazingness than I can even begin to tell you.
"Fallback Girl in recovery"
I will listen to this book on repeat until I get Mr Unavailable out of my head and until I fix what's broken in myself.
This book was so insightful. I have listened to it slowly over the course of my breakup and makeup and breakup again with the same person. I have finally found that not loving myself and respecting myself enough was allowing the wrong person to continually put their hooks back in me. I got answers to questions I didn't even know I had. Everything the author wrote, I could relate to so well. It made me feel like I wasn't the only one who has ever been in this kind of unavailable relationship. Nights when I felt so sad and alone, I would listen to the book and my tears dried, and I felt like everything would be ok. It helped me understand why things went wrong and my part in them as well. Great insightful book! Thank you for your words of healing.
"A brilliant book"
I have always attracted unavailable men. I know I'm also emotionally unavailable, mainly from all the pain I have experienced from these kind of men.
This book is so motivational, I'm going to listen to it again. Anytime I fall off the wagon or feel weak, I will listen to this book. What an eye-opener.
"Stop Chasing Unavailable Men & Women"
Fuuny, to the point. Focused on women, but will help a man who likes to be the fallback guy. Great stories and examples. If you've ever been that fallback person, you will come away ready to make a change.
"Really hits you over the head with Reality"
If you are in this kind of situation, this book smacks you right out of it. Tells it like it is and gives you tools to get out it. Worked for me after a couple of years of trying.
"I love Natalie's insight and direct talk."
I love Natalie's style and listen to get books over and over when I need a pep talk . . . or a stern talk.
"great book full of ah ha moments"
love the bluntness and practical advice. super helpful! it would even be better if the Web address for the get out of stuck pdf worked and if there were workbooks for more parts of the book.
I thought this story was somewhat enlightening to my situation; however, like all relationship books, I felt some opinions in the book were over generalized and did not exactly give advice on what to do if you were the fallback girl. Thankfully, though, this book provoked me to read other books to truly avoid being in a situation like that ever again.
This is a very good book, it explains all the mistakes and attempts we women make when we are in love with Mr Unavailable and with Mr Available as well.
The book is indeed repetitive but I particularly liked the repetition of the concept of why we fall for Mr Unavailable so by the end of the listening we do get the concept.
"Wonderful Self Help Book"
The narration was perfect. Funny, forceful and very real. The content of the entire book keeps you listening, laughing and identifying with your own behaviours.
This book has eureka moments throughout every chapter. It's not possible to pick up one particular phrase or topic.
There were no characters other than Mr Unavailable who was brilliantly described and the Fall Back girl was also beautifully captured.
Read this book if you have ever wasted your time on a man who is just not available and in the words of the book is offering you crumbs.
What an inspirational book. Well done Natalie thanks for sharing.
Everyone who's wondered "why me" should read this. 10 out of 10
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