Once upon a time, in an alleyway in the slums of the City of Lockes, a young and somewhat lonely boy named Sam Haversford turns a group of teenage douchebags into stone completely by accident.
Of course, this catches the attention of a higher power, and Sam's pulled from the only world he knows to become an apprentice to the king's wizard, Morgan of Shadows.
When Sam's 14, he enters the Dark Woods and returns with Gary, the hornless gay unicorn, and a half-giant named Tiggy, earning the moniker Sam of Wilds.
At 15, Sam learns what love truly is when a new knight arrives at the castle - Knight Ryan Foxheart, the dreamiest dream to have ever been dreamed.
Naturally, it all goes to hell when Ryan dates the reprehensible Prince Justin, Sam can't control his magic, a sexually aggressive dragon kidnaps the prince, and the king sends them on an epic quest to save Ryan's boyfriend, all while Sam falls more in love with someone he can never have.
Or, so he thinks.
©2015 TJ Klune (P)2015 Dreamspinner Press
Everything about this book gave me a heart boner. The narrator was amazing!! My only complaint is that it had to end <\3 I tell e v e r y o n e about this book and force them to listen to parts of it. I strongly recommend listening to the audio X
Oh I will definitely be re-listening to this book because it made me laugh so hard.
This is an outstanding book and I can't think of a book it comes close too!
No but he is wonderful in this book.
The meal of corn they eat! You really just need to hear that!
So pleased I have found this book, I hated having to stop listening to it to go to work. Brilliant.
This is my favourite audio book yet.
The story was great, I love everything by TJ Klune, but the performance was fantastic. I have never enjoyed an audio book more. It was a humorous tale but Michael Lesley made every line truly hilarious. Can't wait to hear more from both the author and narrator.
Tiggy but Gary was a close second.
Hornless gay unicorn. Nuf said.
Please, please collaborate again soon.
So the story isn't exactly the most original, but the cast of queer and comfortable characters is wonderful. The adult humour, one liners and sass made me laugh out loud many times.
I mean, what's not to love of a hornless gay unicorn!
I really hope to hear a follow up.
The narrator really made this super enjoyable to listen to.
I cannot say enough about this book. First, a warning; it's not for everyone. It is devastatingly funny, but the humor is sometimes crude. For me, it was quite amazing. I was constantly laughing and rewinding to my favorite parts. In over 19 hours, I never once felt like it was slow or boring. I'm doing my best to write a spoiler-free review, so it will not do the book justice.
I'm not one for warm and fuzzy relationships, nor relationships that are too easy or too anguishing. The interactions between Sam and Ryan make this relationship my favorite of all books I have ever read or listened to.
Every character was fleshed out, unique, and worked flawlessly in this story. I cared about each character, laughed at all the bad guys, and was never confused about what was going on. The details were plentiful without being too much.
The performance was phenomenal. The narrator's voices were very different, so I knew who exactly was speaking, and each matched the character perfectly. There was emotion in every word. It was not just a narration; it was a masterful performance full of emotion, laughter, and passion.
I would happily listen to anything this author and narrator ever created. I hope there is a sequel, that it comes soon, and that it has the same narrator. I will listen to this over and over again. It was more than worth the credit.
"The Go Word Is "Sam""
I love "Tell Me It's Real," but "The Lightning-Struck Heart" just took loooove to a whole other level! With best friends like Gary the hornless, gay unicorn (aka the perversion queen) and Tiggy the half-giant (who smashes and hugs with his whole heart), resigned and reluctant mentors like Morgan and Randall (respectively), a caring king and a butthole of a prince, a frustrating and sometimes stalker-y love interest (Ryan) this great book needs only one more ingredient (besides overly sexual dragons and fairy kings, though it has that, too) to make this book not just pretty awesome, but a vision of pure awesomeness almost too beautiful to put down EVER (okay, maybe that's a bit much...sort of): Sam of Wilds! With his kind heart, sassy mouth, bad sex puns and even worse jokes (love Wassa's name), and the fact that EVERYTHING wants to have sex with him, especially in front of Ryan, he makes a fabulous and fun and downright lovable main character.
And to Michael Lesley: you make this book and these characters really come alive. No other narrator that I've heard could do a more amazing job for these books and queens of sass than you!
"Best audiobook of 2015!"
The narrator seemed to truly understand and enjoy the content so it was so much fun to listen to!
I can't even pick one! I love TJ's writing and wordplay and it was so well done by the narrator that the entire thing just tickled me!
Again, not sure I could pick one but the opening scene really gets you into the style and humor of the story
I REALLY REALLY tried!
"Epic and Magnificent!!"
Epic and Magnificent!!! That is how I would describe this wonderful book and performance. For have not doubt, Mr. Lesley does NOT read this book; he performs it in a way that you "experience" this book. The combination of TJ Klune's imaginative, funny and poignant fantasy adventure and Micheal Lesley's amazing performance is the stuff of dreams. The story of Sam and Ryan and their marvelous Scooby gang of friends and family had me grinning from start to finish. At 19 hours you would think it would drag, but it didn't. And that is primarily due to TJ Klune's wonderful writing. He makes these characters so endearing that you can't help but get swept up in their lives. Of course there is the usual warning about listening in public. You will laugh out loud and get strange looks and wide berths. But it is so worth a little public shaming. The ending seemed to infer they may be more adventures to follow. I really, really hope there are.
"LOVE T.j klune"
This author is absolutely amazing. I am in awe of the way his mind works. His books are serously funny mostly because of the fact that the main chacter telling the stories are sarcastic, unlucky and batshit crazy. This book is not different than his other books in that regard. It is however a lot different than the bear, otter and the kid series since this one is set in a fantazy world. The love story always seem to be the background story in the book and you do not get to know the love interest of the MC very well - he seems mostly to be "the pretty one" that he pines after due to his look. But it does not matter since i generally never listen to his books for the romance but for all the the snipy comments and impossible happenings that makes them fun to listen to. I still like the bear otter and the kid series better but this is absolutely worth the time too.
"Michael Lesley makes this book AMAZING1"
Yep, for the LOLz
um...Michael Lesley's voices gave life to this book!
Um, Michael Lesley GAVE LIFE TO THIS BOOK
Oh the lolz,
I think had i read this first i wouldn't have liked it as much...
This book was exactly what i needed, I love this book I was laughing my ass off it was awesome, the narrator was great. This audiobook is Hilariously funny and enjoyable wow so must fun thanks TJ Klune and Michael Lesley for making my day. ( Warning DO NOT listen to this book outside you home because people will think you are losing your mind or high). I highly recommend it 5 star.
"There aren't enough stars for this..."
The Lightning-Struck Heart or, as it was originally titled, Unicorn Star F**ker, is a fantastic story of love, friendship, longing, loss, and hope.
Is this funny? Yes. Yes, it is. It's hilarious. Straight up - I was obnoxiously laughing so hard and so loud for so long that I actually began to feel sorry for the people around me. Sorry they were being subjected to my overt hilarity and sorry they were not reading this magnificent and wondrous book so they too could laugh uproariously.
Does this book make your heart ache? In part. Yes, it will, a little. What can be more sad than wanting someone so desperately, but knowing you can't have him?
"...I’m sorry I made an oath. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. And I’m sorry that I can’t break it. But you have to believe me that it’s always been you. I promise. I promise." His voice cracked and my hands shook. "I promise, because when I look upon these stars, there is nothing I wish for more than you."
Is this just an OTT Fairy-tale on crack? No. No, it's not. Or, well, it's not only that. There are so many nuances to this. It has humor, heartache, and, most importantly, lessons to be learned about life, love and sometimes letting the things you love go even at the expense of your own heart and soul.
And, oh, the characters!
Wizard Apprentice Sam Haversford aka "Sam of Wilds" is maddening, fantastic and wonderful in all his blurty over-the-top goodness.
Sir Ryan Foxheart, is dashing and wonderful and...an asshole. But not an irredeemable asshole. Which is good.
The sidekick characters are utterly sublime! (Gary, the hornless gay unicorn, Tiggy, the half-giant, Sam's parents, Morgan and Randall the wizards, Kevin the dragon, Mama, Sam's fairy drag mother, the King, Pete, the guard...gods I could go on and on...) They all steal spotlight every time they appear on page again and again.
I *literally* loved every single minute of this.
If you are a fan of Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Top Gun, and The Princess Bride - then you will love this book. You will want to have this book's babies.
If you are a fan of T.J. Klune's, and love his characters Derrick "Bear" McKenna (BOATK), Paul Auster (TMIR), and Sandy Stewart (TMIR) - then you will love this book. You will beg for more ( by the way, T.J....MORE PLEASE!!! ) Literally.
Never fear, dear readers! You get an HEA, but it's also left open for more adventures. And, oh, how I want them. I literally want them so much. Literally.
Michael Lesley takes this funny, makes your heart ache, cracktastic fairy tale and maked it infinitely relatable to anyone who loves humor, sarcasm, sassiness, and even sadness.
This is fantastic in all senses of the word. Run, do not walk, to buy this audio!
HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
"Beyond the stars..."
I have always enjoyed TJ Klune's work but this story has got to be one of the best that I have listened to since I began listening to audiobooks. The author's wit and writing style had me experiencing every emotion that one could possibly consider. They dynamic between Sam, Garry, and Tiggy was just awesome and the love between Sam and Ryan could be felt (physically) through the words. Adding to the majesty of the words is the excellent narrative abilities of Michael Lesley. Each character was brought to life with the differing vocals assigned to each. What an amazing talent he is! Exceptional is not nearly a strong enough adjective to describe the awesomeness of this book!!!
""And he smiled.""
Who is this TJ Klune (who writes beautiful love stories that make you laugh, cry, and want to protect these imaginary people you fall in love with) and how can I get Michael Lesley as my personal narrative of EVERYTHING?!
I came across this awesome duo when I found " Tell me it's real," and got in trouble at work for laughing out loud, AGAINST MY WILL! And I was infected with the same, laughing against my will, while listening to this story.
"It was like getting hit in the face with a puppy made of ice cream and good dreams."
This story of a 'coming of wizard age' tale full of love, lies, requited and unrequited love sets you on a journey full of laughs and ' WTF did I just hear?!' With a sweet giant willing to smash anyone who tries to hurt his besties, a beautiful angelic unicorn name Gary (seriously, a unicorn named Gary lol) and a young wizard with no internal filter whose in love with the immaculate and dashing Ryan, it was impossible not to fall in love with this 19+ hour tale.
"I don't need to love u for all the things u could be, I already love you for all the thing you are."
Michael Lesley! 💖Michael, 💖Michael, 💖Michael!
1. Sexy as Ryan
2. Hilarious as Gary
3. Achingly funny as Sam
4. And Phenomenal as every other character in this story
"I'm going to awkward hug the f**k out of you."
So incredibly entertaining. Narrated in a magnificent way.
Loved the diverse characters. Loved the modern culture injected in a fantasy novel.
I listened to the whole thing in a few days... They were fantastic days!
A great story told with gusto. The narration really suited the characters and the storytelling
"a light hearted tale,funny yet thought provoking"
the narrator, very good all the different characters all had a life of there own...
the love between friends, i.e. Sams love for Gary and tiggy and theirs for him
well Sam of course.. and Gary.. and Tiggy..
the ballad of Sam, Gary and Tiggy.. really moving
I agree with other reviewers, this is very funny in the main, sad at times and thought provoking at others. some things where predictable.(as you would expect) but mainly a good tale with plenty of action..I have slated one of TJ Klunes other books, but this one is really good, and I look forward to the next one. if there is to be one..
I usually love gay fantasy novels but unfortunately I couldn't get past the 2nd chapter. The book seems to be aimed at teenagers who like south beach camp guys with screaming queen jargon. Not for me
It is like a modern monty python and the holy grail. thoroughly irreverant and graphicly rude, but done so well it is hilarious. The performance was the best I have ever heard and I have listened to this narrator/Author combo b4.
Incredible (and I mean incredible not just great) narrator, hilarious (people staring at you cos you're bursting into laughter round the shops hilarious) story line, with all those tiny romantic hearts dotted around that I expect of TJ Klune. Just buy it and within the first 30 seconds you won't want to stop listening.
"THE BEST BOOK I'VE EVER HEARD"
I really got so intertwined in this book that I felt that I was Sam in so many ways. It may me laugh though the entire time, except a few time when it made me cry. I just loved the book/writing itself and the narration was EPIC!!! I loved it ALL. Thank you TJ for writing this wonderful book ever written. All you have to do now is write another one as the sequel...... :-D
"fantastic, funny great listen"
loved this book gary the unicorn and his puns hilarious brilliant book. would read again
"Amazingly written, romantic comic escapism"
I actually think I listened to this is less than a day. And it's 18 hours long.
A fantasy told in a unique way, and a great plot but perhaps not for everyone's sensibilities
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