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Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale Audiobook

Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale

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Publisher's Summary

A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist: a four-legged heroine you won't soon forget.

Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that - her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God - and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie's understanding of her world to its core.

There's only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry - excuse me, Shalom - a cranky, Torah-reading pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can't fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport.

Elsie is our wise-cracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom - who does eventually learn to fly (sort of) - dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. David Duchovny's charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.

©2015 King Baby, Inc. (P)2014 Macmillan Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.7 (6 )
5 star
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4.0 (5 )
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4.4 (5 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Tanya 02/03/2017
    Tanya 02/03/2017 Member Since 2016
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    2
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Bovine philosophy"

    Loved everything about this. Such as creative and fun way to make deep philosophical points about there being more to unite us than divide us. Laugh out loud funny too. Loved hearing David Duchovny read his own words.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amanda 16/02/2015
    Amanda 16/02/2015
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    1
    1
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Thoroughly Moo-ving"

    I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Holy Cow, and how much I came to love Elsie and friends. Although it seems light-hearted and comic on the surface, there are powerful messages contained within, and the book was thought-provoking. David's narration is lovely, very expressive, and I loved hearing how he imagined the characters speaking.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • stephanie
    ROCKAWAY, NJ, United States
    17/02/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Don't Pass This By"

    I am a huge David Duchovny fan, so I was going to get this one anyway. I'm So glad I did! What I got was a witty, smart, touching story that absolutely has meaning. It's short and I wish it were longer, but only for selfish reasons.

    David's narration of his story only makes me love it more. I don't think I have recommend a book so highly and to so many people before Holy Cow.

    Please, please write again soon. This was a delightful listen.

    6 of 6 people found this review helpful
  • Umair
    8/02/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Short and fun"

    I'm glad Duchovny read it himself because he did an excellent job. It's an unconventional book but anyone who liked the character Hank Moody from Californication would like it. It could be read to children; I'm not sure if it's meant for children. But it's definitely witty, at least partly allegorical and might even be autobiographical.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • Diana
    United States
    11/02/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Smart and Funny"
    Where does Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    Top 10


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale?

    They were all memorable, especially Shalom's (the pig) situation with circumcision. It was just TOO FUNNY. The Yiddish expressions were hilarious. I couldn't stop cracking up. So good!


    Have you listened to any of David Duchovny’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    No I haven't. He's a great narrator for Holy Cow, but then he is the author. I never knew he was so hilarious. Loved him!


    Who was the most memorable character of Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale and why?

    I would say Elsie, but all the characters were great.


    Any additional comments?

    I would think this funny and "straight to the heart" story should be a 2015 Best Seller. I never have laughed so much with any other book. 5+Stars.,Go David!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • laineybug
    20/07/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "it's like Hank Moody wrote and read the story"

    I can't imagine the story being as funny if I read it myself rather than David Duchovny reading it. he truly made it entertaining like it was supposed to be. the actual story was a little hokey but funny as hell with David D reading. and like my headline reads, it had a lot Hank Moody humor. i loved it.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • kathy c garvin
    virginia beach, va United States
    29/05/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Genius"

    Incredibly smart, insightful, witty,charming, creative and original. Dave Duchovny does not disappoint. As talented a writer as actor.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Megan
    Des Moines, IA, United States
    9/04/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "A few humorous lines"

    Some funny one-liners and good for a thoughtless 'read', but the story was a bit basic. I wouldn't read this again.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • mj
    8/02/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Cute, Current, Smart, Hilarious and Poignant"
    Where does Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    One of the best by far. David Duchovny's voice and inflection was made for this and I'd listen to him read any book to me.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Q, for obvious reasons.. gotta read the book to find out. She is the omniscient heroine.


    What about David Duchovny’s performance did you like?

    The whispered asides. It's always a bonus to have the author narrate, but it's especially a bonus when he's a talented actor that can authentically portray feelings through his voice.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Stop using animals for anything. Go vegan. They think and feel just like we do and I hope this illustration of what the world seems like from an animal's point of view changes the minds and hearts of millions. It's interesting that this question asked about "extreme" reactions. Ceasing to use or exploit animals is viewed as extreme by so many. But what is extreme? Abusing animals or abstaining from harming anything?


    Any additional comments?

    Go vegan.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Kyle
    30/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "It's Dave he's got the stuff!"

    this was surprisingly amazing David Duchovny you got skills son right up there with Animal Farm plus some humor

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Shasta
    San Luis Obispo, Ca
    24/04/17
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I like DD but he was trying to hard in this one"

    I felt that the author was trying way to hard to build a story around his one-liners vs the other way around. Im a fan of the performance but the writing isn't good or compelling. It was 3 hrs that was harder than you'd think to get through. You may or may not be entertained with this book.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Laura Elsasser
    8/11/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Loved it!"

    An adorable tale that will make you ponder your role in the big picture of things. plus, it's actually narrated by David, so...you can't really argue with listening to that sexy voice for a few hours.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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  • Amazon Customer
    8/08/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Fascinating!"

    Incredibly smart and educational story!!!Duchovny showed the world that he is truly a thinking man!!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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