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If Chins Could Kill
- Confessions of a B Movie Actor
- Narrated by: Bruce Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
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If Chins Could Kill
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One of my dad’s favorite jokes about getting older was: “I went out for coffee when I was twenty-one and when I got back I was fifty-eight!” I get what he meant now. Time flies. My first book, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a "B" Movie Actor, was published back in 2001 and it chronicles the adventures of a “mid-grade, kind of hammy actor" (my words), cutting his teeth on exploitation movies far removed from mainstream Hollywood. This next book, an “Act II” if you will, could be considered my “maturing years” in show business, when I began to say “no” more often and gravitated toward self-generated material. Taking stock in the overall quality of my life, I fled Los Angeles and moved to a remote part of Oregon to renew, regroup and reload. If that sounds tame, the journey from Evil Dead to Spider-Man to Burn Notice was long, with plenty of adventures/mishaps along the way. I never pictured myself hovering above Baghdad in a Blackhawk helicopter, facing a pack of wild dogs in Bulgaria, or playing an aging Elvis Presley with cancer on his penis - how can you predict this stuff? The sheer lunacy of show business is part of the fun for me and I hope you'll come along for the ride.
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Publisher's Summary
Life is full of choices. Right now, yours is whether or not to buy the autobiography of a mid-grade, kind of hammy actor.
Am I supposed to know this guy? you think to yourself.
No, and that's exactly the point. The truth is that though you might not have a clue who I am, there are countless working stiffs like me out there, grinding away every day at the wheel of fortune.
If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor is my first book, and I invite you to ride with me through the choppy waters of blue collar Hollywood.
Okay, so buy the damned book already!
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What listeners say about If Chins Could Kill
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Josh Coupland
- 25-04-2019
Bruce Campbell CLASSIC COMEDY in Book form
I was over the moon when I saw that Bruce had written his own books and even more narrated it and
since he wrote this book we get a lot of info on what his career was like before and after the cult classics.
In pure Bruce style you get a lot of funny stories that are just added to the experience by having the man himself tell you the stories.
I love how this book feels like one long interview with Bruce however there was only one question and it was "Tell me about your life"
if you love Bruce you would very much enjoy the book after all its like listening to an interview with Bruce.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 05-04-2021
Awesome
A great listen from one of my favourite actors. I'd definitely recommend this book to fans of Bruce.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- matt
- 27-06-2019
Mr Gbons
I have been trying to get around to reading this book since the day I first heard of it's existance well over 15yrs now. Bruce campbell to me is a legend army of darkness quotes would pour out of me, and to this day I still say "grovvey" like ASH did and when my wife gives me flack I say "honey you got real ugly " any way enough about me lets get back to Bruce and this book. The narrative by bruce just makes it so easy to listen to as when he speaks you can hear his passion even if it is to be a smart arse or remember something that if done this day and age you would get arrested I think.
I will finish it off with if you like Bruce as a talented artist and are up for a good inside the business laugh this is for you and if this is not enough you can get the next one Hail to the chin furthe confessions of a B grade movie actor.
I would like to say Bruce campbell has not endorsed or paid me any way to share this or plug his second book.
Hail to the king baby.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Thomas
- 24-07-2022
Groovy!
This is a very enjoyable audio book. If you can't find anything better to do with your time. As it happened, I only had to complete my master's thesis this week, so of course, I had loads of free time to kill.
Thank you, Mr Campbell.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jordan
- 23-12-2016
Awesome!
As a long time Bruce Campbell fan from the original Evil Dead to Hercules and Xena up to now i have to say this was an amazing book and a great choice as my first one from audible! It offered me an insight into acting life as i've never seen or head before. Thank's for the great book Bruce, and long live Ash VS Evil Dead!!!!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Crystal Dawn
- 21-05-2018
From Rags to Moderate (and Acceptable) Hand-me-Downs
If you’re even remotely aware of infamous B-Movie actor Bruce Campbell, then you should know before going into <i>If Chins Could Kill</i> that it will not be your typical “From Rags to Riches” sojourn of an actor rising above the crop and earning their star on Hollywood Boulevard. This is more akin to a “From Rags to Moderate (and Acceptable) Hand-me-Downs”. You know, the kind of clothes with the seams still tight enough to pass any stress test, and no visible stains but the fabric has certainly faded. The kind of clothes that will always look fine and dandy, but might raise an eyebrow or two in the audience of any Sydney Theatre Production.
In essence, the Bruce Campbell story is not one of renowned success. It is, instead, a story that dispels the myth of the dream to “make it big”, laying out all of the hurdles and hoops one must leap through in order to achieve even a basic, liveable income. Spoiler alert: It’s fucking hard.
Honestly, it’s the kind of book any creative artist should read. Actor, director, author, whatever. If you’re interested in pursuing a career that’s a bit untraditional, then Bruce Campbell’s autobiography is the grounded piece of reality you need to digest before committing to the long haul. Long days, sleepless nights, moonlighting at second-grade gigs to pay the bills. It’s all in here, right from the horse’s mouth. And it’s all real.
Do yourself a favour though and listen to the auto book, as read by Bruce himself, with little updated anecdotes. It’s a really great experience, and his unforgettable mid-west accent is both magnetic and soothing. The man could read me bedtime stories any night.
Great book!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Noarev
- 22-12-2021
A wonderful view
I really enjoyed Mr. Campbell's storytelling, the earnestness with which he shares and looks back at past events. I found this to be a relaxing, interesting listen, and a perfect way to unwind after a long work day and shake off that lingering anxiety.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Matthew
- 13-08-2017
wonderful view of the reality of film
Absolutely loved it. A great insight into the film industry by someone who just loves the process and the product.
Only a few make it to total stardom. Bruce tells the story of what you can do with your life when you have a passion for something, and you go for it
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kai1
- 13-08-2018
Listened to it on planes, trains and buses across the world
A great listen, Bruce's voice is A delight to hear and keep me company during many a yawnful moment. You know actually this book is probably far more educational than it intended to be, painting an interesting picture of how a bunch of college kids could raise the funds to make a proper movie. I really enjoyed if Chins could kill and can't wait to listen to the next one !!
Just to let you know, I work for Audible, but the views expressed in this review are 100% my own.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- David G Francis
- 05-03-2023
Entertaining insight to arguably one of the most significant movies in the evolution of cinema and home video
Bruce Campbell is far from the b-grade performer he portrays with his self deprecating take on his own history as founding member of the team, producer and star of the Evil dead and subsequent films.
This is an entertaining and insightful story about the evolution of arguably one of the most significant movies that pioneered the VHS industry, creating home video, DVD and Blu-Ray. Incidentally it is also the story of one of the most underrated genre films that started the careers of many significant players in todays cinema industry,
Bruce should be commended highly for such an entertaining book, both well written and incredibly well read, providing the perfect tone and delivery to his stories and personal history.
Highly recommend to any film buff or fan…
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