If you’ve done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? Which is exactly what the crew of the Heart of Gold plan to do. There’s just the small matter of escaping the Vogons, avoiding being taken to the most totally evil world in the Galaxy and teaching a space ship how to make a proper cup of tea. And did anyone actually make a reservation?
"Better than perfection?"
In consequence of a number of stunning catastrophes, Arthur Dent is surprised to find himself living in a hideously miserable cave on prehistoric Earth. However, just as he thinks that things cannot get possibly worse, they suddenly do. He discovers that the Galaxy is not only mind-boggingly big and bewildering but also that most of the things that happen in it are staggeringly unfair.
"it's like written for children by children"
There is a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. It’s not an easy thing to do and Arthur Dent thinks he’s the only human who’s been able to master this nifty little trick - until he meets Fenchurch, the girl of his dreams. Fenchurch knows how the world could be made a good and happy place. Unfortunately she’s forgotten. Convinced that the secret lies within God’s Final Message to His Creation they go in search of it. And in a dramatic break with tradition - actually find it....
"miss Steven Fry"
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
"Excellent detail and black humour"
Last week, high-powered coffee buyer Amy O'Hara was trekking through the Ethiopian cloud forest on the verge of a discovery that could save the coffee bean from extinction. This week, she's unexpectedly fired. Suddenly Amy's days are no longer filled with meetings and upscale tastings, but with put-together PTA moms, puke-ridden playdates, and dirty dishes.
Better Than Life finds the crew trapped in a mind-boggling computer game that is threatening their lives and safety of the ship. One by one, they enter the game to rescue each other - and one by one, they become trapped! Holly will have to use his mega brain to solve this one.
"Better than life - Funny as hell."
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
Everyone hates the perfect family. So you’ll love the Battles. Mo is about to hit the big 50, and some uncomfortable truths are becoming quite apparent: She doesn’t understand either of her teenage kids, which as a child psychologist, is fairly embarrassing. She has become entirely grey, inside, and out. Her face has surrendered and is frightening children....
Les is quite happy resting up after the flu when Warren has to tip him into an earn. Norton's mate from the Albanian Mafia, Bodene Menjou, is planning to make the most politically correct movie ever made in Australia, Gone With the Willy Willy, and has a script stolen. If Les can find it, a lazy $50,000 could fall in. How can Norton say no?
Dazzling, hilarious, disturbing and utterly unforgettable new novel from the author of the Man Booker-shortlisted A Fraction of the Whole. Intensely moving, darkly funny and hugely entertaining, Quicksand focuses on the multifaceted dynamics between the protagonists Aldo and Liam: lifelong friends, criminal and police officer, muse and writer.
"On a scale of 1 to Steve Toltz, how quotable are you?"
Les Norton, a big red-headed country boy from Queensland, has just arrived in the big smoke and is set to make his mark. Working as a bouncer at an illegal casino in the Cross, Les encounters a number of fascinating characters who make up the seamier side of one of the most exciting cities in the world – gamblers, conmen, bookies, bouncers, hookers and hit men, who ply their respective trades from the golden sands of Bondi to the tainted gutters of Kings Cross... usually on the wrong side of the law.
"A man from God's country"
Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of Funny Girl, the new novel by bestselling author Nick Hornby, read by Emma Fielding. Funny Girl is the story of a popular 1960s tv comedy series. The writers, Tony and Bill, comedy obsessives, who each harbour a secret. The Oxbridge-educated director, Dennis, who loves his job but hates his marriage. The male star Clive, who feels he's destined for better things.
8.45 P.M. Realise there have been so many times in my life when have fantasised about going to a scan with Mark or Daniel: just not both at the same time. Before motherhood before marriage Bridget with biological clock ticking very, very loudly finds herself unexpectedly pregnant at the eleventh hour: a joyful pregnancy which is dominated however by a crucial but terribly awkward question - who is the father?
It is a time of unrest in the BookWorld. Only the diplomatic skills of ace literary detective Thursday Next can avert a devastating genre war. But a week before the peace talks, Thursday vanishes. Has she simply returned home to the RealWorld or is this something more sinister? All is not yet lost. Living at the quiet end of speculative fiction is the written Thursday Next, eager to prove herself worthy of her illustrious namesake.
Gary Karkofsky is an ordinary guy with an ordinary life living in an extraordinary world. Supervillains, heroes, and monsters are a common part of the world he inhabits. Yet, after the death of his hometown's resident superhero, he gains the amazing gift of the late champion's magical cloak. Deciding he prefers to be rich rather than good, Gary embarks on a career as Merciless: The Supervillain Without Mercy. But is he evil enough to be a villain in America's most crime-ridden city?
Aussie Vietnam veteran Ron Milne is on a good thing, growing Indian hemp on the tiny Micronesian island of Lan Laroi. Besides being President, the natives treat him as a god. To the American DEA he is a dangerous criminal. US President Clifford J. Clooney decides to invade. Onto this island of sun, surf, beautiful women, and mysterious ruins arrives Bondi surf journalist Brian Bradshaw. Brian came to find a story, then return home to write it. He didn't expect to get involved in something almost impossible to comprehend....
The story revolves around the comings and goings at No. 44 Scotland Street, a fictitious building in a real street in Edinburgh. Immediately recognisable are the Edinburgh chartered surveyor, stalwart of the Conservative Association, who dreams of membership of Scotland's most exclusive golf club. We have the pushy Stockbridge mother, and her prodigiously talented five-year-old son, who is making good progress with the saxophone and with his Italian.
A great Australian yarn about a bold Australian outback adventure belonging to another time in another world, inspired by a true story. The happy routine life of two Perth boys is shattered one November day in 1950 when they are falsely accused of theft. With fabricated evidence mounting against them they decide to run away from their homes and families to avoid prosecution and pooling their meager pocket money they back the winner of the Melbourne Cup and fund an escape.
When 25-year-old Kat is dragged to a porn convention by her best friend, she's both embarrassed and nervous. The last thing she ever expects is to meet someone who makes her laugh like no other. This is a story about acceptance and friendship and a love born out of the most unexpected of places.
The morning of her niece's wedding, Margo Just drinks a double martini and contemplates the many mistakes she's made in her fifty-odd years of life. Spending three decades in love with a wonderful but unattainable man is pretty high up on her list of missteps, as is a long line of unsuccessful love affairs accompanied by a seemingly endless supply of delicious cocktails.
Gogol's phantasmagorical tale about a man whose nose decides to abscond and begin living a life of its own is one of the earliest and most celebrated examples of absurdist literature. Apart from its recondite humor, it is remarkable for Gogol's skill in characterization and his ability to paint a picture of contemporary life in Russia in a few verbal brushstrokes.
Lucy Peckham has one big problem - Christmas! Every December 25th brings Lucy the gift of pain, illness, or embarrassment of one sort or another. Steve Andrews was there to bear witness to Lucy's first humiliating Christmas back when they were both children together. Now that they're adults, will the tides finally turn for Lucy, or will this be her worst Christmas ever?
The hilly terrain next to the old Sprocket house that Meg Langslow and her fiancé, Michael, are refurbishing is the perfect location for an extreme croquet field - even the legs of cows and sheep are convenient extra wickets. Croquet has become all the rage in Caerphilly...until it appears someone in town has taken the rage a bit too literally. While stumbling down a steep bank after her ball, Meg encounters the body of a fresh female corpse with a mallet-sized dent in her head.
Abraham Koyfman is a widower of nine months. He works from home selling subliminal self-help tapes for a questionable doctor he found in an ad in the back of a magazine. His meager retirement is enough now that he's alone and Abraham is ready to quit his job - a task proving to be difficult due to the company's tactics. The combination of grief and the lack of empathy from his adult children have him ready to quit life, also.
What is more heartwarming than looking at children cuddling with animals with happy expressions on their faces.
Here it is - the audiobook based on the elite collection of spine tinglers first shared in the first season of the world famous Clam Simmons Audiobook Podcast. Once distilled into audio morsels to be plugged in to fairly clean ear holes, this collection of Kansas City spine tinglers are now presented in a way that is pleasing to the most severe earholes. But beware, to those who dare marvel at their grandeur - top ghost scientists agree that they are the scariest stories in the history of the world.
Aaron thinks genre fiction is an affront to the fiction-writing craft. He often quotes the essayist Arthur Krystal, who says literary fiction "melts the frozen sea inside of us". Ironically Aaron doesn't seem to realize that he's emotionally frozen. The vivacious Laurie, lover of flamingo-patterned attire and all things hot pink, is the one person who might be capable of melting him.
A woman returns home for another night of unrelenting torment from her rowdy neighbor. While settling in, she not only discovers that he's throwing a wild party but also that her apartment isn't quite the way she left it. Could her neighbor be responsible? If so, for what reason? This story is the first of a series of lost urban legends.
*My name is Ellis DeAngelo.* I tend to get caught in the midst of trouble quite often. I'm an unlucky guy, but fortunate to have friends to help me out. These aren't the memoirs of a geisha you'll be hearing. And most definitely not some soul-searching discovery that depicts eating, praying, and loving. This is so much better...or worse, depending on your perspective.
This is a story about forbidden love between Abraham Lincoln and a Sasquatch.
Meat My Uncle is a story about a boy who has a wild imagination and talks about his weird family and their wild adventure!
Wilt Fusarium, a clueless American ad executive, unwittingly finds himself in the middle of political intrigue and revolution on the tiny island of Costa San Rica, while trying to save the ad agency's Choad Banana account. Complications and misunderstandings abound, as the island's despot leader thinks Wilt is a revolutionary, the revolutionaries think he's a government agent, the banana company thinks he's CIA, and the CIA, well, they don't know what to think.
Meet Dr. Nancy Beach, a relationship counselor who hosts a local radio show called Love's a Beach. One problem: The relationship guru can't seem to make her own relationships work, sending her credibility and ratings into the toilet. Meet Jacob Cope, a walking thesaurus of phobias, a Lehman Brothers casualty who's lost his job and swagger and now yearns to be a ventriloquist. When Nancy and Jacob are set up on a blind date and hit it off, their siblings, desperate to be rid of them, encourage the young couple to move in together.
When Wisconsin Territory botanist Calvin Scholz receives a mysterious package from an old friend who recently came to an untimely demise, it sparks a wild adventure. The mid-1840s is a dangerous time, for the Americans are at war with Mexico. Scholz survives attempts on his life as he tries to deliver the package to his friend's brother, a Savannah ichthyologist interested in fish-powered machinery - ichthyotech.
This is a short story about a ruthless, bloodthirsty, raw-brain-eating pigeon possessed by an evil witch doctor. The beast momentarily tormented the city of Chicago, and this is its tale.
When Oscar stumbles across an arrogant bard named the Dodosette and the beautiful cat Vaasi-Vee, he unearths a plot to plunge the world into darkness. After some begging, a lot of snow and an industrial-sized vat of soup, the three animals argue all the way to the infamous land of Vra to do something about it. They did not, however, anticipate having to fight invisible Rottweilers, smash kitchens to pieces, lick frozen cars or fund taxi drivers' sisters' eye operations.
Fanny and Dora's South American Adventure takes two fabulous and very glamorous ladies on a life-changing trip to Brazil (Sugar Loaf Mountain, an inspiration for cake), Argentina, Easter Island, Chile, and, finally, Peru (where you are given magical skills to fly up to the top of the world)!
Zapinette spends Christmas in the Big Apple! She reveals a slice of life from a perspective that is both rare and familiar. She is unique in her worldly travels, having been born in the United States, currently living in Paris, and visiting faraway lands with her beloved Unky Berky. She is all too common in her pain as the child of a broken home, her anger and hostility over her mother's new beau ("Fermin the Virmen"), her confusion over the baffling realities of the adult world, and her inner longing to find her real father.
Hettie Bagshot and her sidekick, Tilly Jenkins, run the No. 2 Feline Detective Agency from the back room of the Butters' High Street bakery. They are asked by the organisers of the prestigious local literary festival to act as security. But when the body of one of the most popular authors is found in a secluded part of the festival grounds, Hettie and Tilly must turn their attention to investigating the death of Downton Tabby....
It's a week before Christmas, and Hettie and Tilly set out on a very dangerous case for The No. 2 Feline Detective Agency. Lady Eloise Crabstock-Singe has summoned them to Crabstock Manor, hoping they can solve the mystery of Christmas Paws: a servant cat that haunts the manor, intent on killing off all the Crabstocks. Through blizzard and storm, stranded on the notorious Bodkin Moor, will Hettie and Tilly save the day and get home in time for Christmas dinner?