If you’ve done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? Which is exactly what the crew of the Heart of Gold plan to do. There’s just the small matter of escaping the Vogons, avoiding being taken to the most totally evil world in the Galaxy and teaching a space ship how to make a proper cup of tea. And did anyone actually make a reservation?
In consequence of a number of stunning catastrophes, Arthur Dent is surprised to find himself living in a hideously miserable cave on prehistoric Earth. However, just as he thinks that things cannot get possibly worse, they suddenly do. He discovers that the Galaxy is not only mind-boggingly big and bewildering but also that most of the things that happen in it are staggeringly unfair.
"it's like written for children by children"
In a stunning literary debut, Carrie Fisher chronicles the excruciatingly funny adventures of Suzanne Vale, young film star and drug addict, who survives a rehab clinic only to rejoin the equally harrowing world of Hollywood. Out there on the edge, despair flips into hilarity, and we're left laughing as Suzanne struggles to come to terms with her various fantasylands. Carrie Fisher's reading of her first novel evokes the deliciously irreverent humor that formed the lens through which she looked at life in the '80s.
"Listening to this after her death."
There is a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. It’s not an easy thing to do and Arthur Dent thinks he’s the only human who’s been able to master this nifty little trick - until he meets Fenchurch, the girl of his dreams. Fenchurch knows how the world could be made a good and happy place. Unfortunately she’s forgotten. Convinced that the secret lies within God’s Final Message to His Creation they go in search of it. And in a dramatic break with tradition - actually find it....
"miss Steven Fry"
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
"Excellent detail and black humour"
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
Better Than Life finds the crew trapped in a mind-boggling computer game that is threatening their lives and safety of the ship. One by one, they enter the game to rescue each other - and one by one, they become trapped! Holly will have to use his mega brain to solve this one.
"Better than life - Funny as hell."
The story revolves around the comings and goings at No. 44 Scotland Street, a fictitious building in a real street in Edinburgh. Immediately recognisable are the Edinburgh chartered surveyor, stalwart of the Conservative Association, who dreams of membership of Scotland's most exclusive golf club. We have the pushy Stockbridge mother, and her prodigiously talented five-year-old son, who is making good progress with the saxophone and with his Italian.
When Leo Plumb drives off drunk from a party in a sports car with a 19-year-old waitress in tow, to the moral and legal fallout must be added the horrible inconvenience to his brother and sisters. Leo's rehab costs have severely depleted 'the nest' - the family's joint trust fund that would have cut them loose from their myriad financial issues.
Les Norton, a big red-headed country boy from Queensland, has just arrived in the big smoke and is set to make his mark. Working as a bouncer at an illegal casino in the Cross, Les encounters a number of fascinating characters who make up the seamier side of one of the most exciting cities in the world – gamblers, conmen, bookies, bouncers, hookers and hit men, who ply their respective trades from the golden sands of Bondi to the tainted gutters of Kings Cross... usually on the wrong side of the law.
"A man from God's country"
8.45 P.M. Realise there have been so many times in my life when have fantasised about going to a scan with Mark or Daniel: just not both at the same time. Before motherhood before marriage Bridget with biological clock ticking very, very loudly finds herself unexpectedly pregnant at the eleventh hour: a joyful pregnancy which is dominated however by a crucial but terribly awkward question - who is the father?
This is a collection of the second six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series.
Get ready for the action-packed follow up to The Rules of Supervillainy. This time with zombies, zombified heroes and villains, cults, magic, super-science, a dragon, a giant Nazi robot, a Greek demigod, and so much more! Gary and Cloak have returned from the supervillain prison on the moon only to discover the city he plans to conquer and rule with an iron fist has been overrun with the living dead.
One day, sitting in traffic, Stella Sweeney attempts a good deed. The resulting car crash changes her life. But in this event is born the seed of something which will take Stella thousands of miles from her old life, turning an ordinary woman into a superstar, wrenching her whole family apart. For the first time real, honest-to-goodness happiness is just within her reach. But is Stella Sweeney, Dublin housewife, ready to grasp it?
The seventh instalment in the biggest, funniest, most thrilling comedy-horror-adventure series in the universe…Death Bringer, book 6 in the Skulduggery Pleasant series, was the number-one bestselling children’s book for two weeks running in September 2011, as well as outselling the number one adult fiction hardback. And guess what? This one is going to be Even Bigger.
Who is in Coma Suite Number 5? A matchless lover? A supreme egotist? A selfless martyr? A bad mother? A cherished sister? A selfish wife? All of these. For this is Silvia Shute, who has always done exactly what she wants. Until now, when her life suddenly, shockingly stops. Her past holds a terrible secret, and now that she is unconscious in a hospital bed, her constant stream of visitors are set to uncover the mystery of her broken life. Meanwhile she must lie there, victim of the beloveds, the borings, the babblings and the plain bonkers. Like it or not, the truth is about to pay Silvia a visit. Again, and again and again...
"Bit morbid not for me"
Bernadette Fox is notorious. To Elgie Branch, a Microsoft wunderkind, she's his hilarious, volatile, talented, troubled wife. To fellow mothers at the school gate, she's a menace. To design experts, she's a revolutionary architect. And to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend, and quite simply, mum. Then Bernadette disappears. And Bee must take a trip to the end of the earth to find her. Where'd You Go, Bernadette is a compulsively readable, irresistibly written, deeply touching novel.
"Love love loved it!"
When 25-year-old Kat is dragged to a porn convention by her best friend, she's both embarrassed and nervous. The last thing she ever expects is to meet someone who makes her laugh like no other. This is a story about acceptance and friendship and a love born out of the most unexpected of places.
They don't call him Lucky Les for nothing. A ticket in a raffle and Norton was off to the US of A, where it turned out hot, red hot, and it wasn't just the weather. Night club brawls, mafia hitmen, and too many girls called Lori, all in a sea of margaritas. Even for Les Norton, it was just too hot to handle. So it was off to the Caribbean, where Millwood Downie - schoolteacher, historian, and would-be stand-up comic - helps Les trace his family tree and possibly uncover the biggest earn ever.
Alice Pearse is a mostly happily married mother of three, an attentive daughter, an ambivalent dog owner, a part-time editor, a loyal neighbor, and a Zen commuter. She is not: a cook, a craftswoman, a decorator, an active PTA member, a natural caretaker, or the breadwinner. But when her husband makes a radical career change, Alice is ready to lean in - and she knows exactly how lucky she is to land a job at Scroll, a hip, young startup that promises to be the future of reading.
Five year-old Bonanza's mother tells her to "keep digging" as she buries her dolls and ultimately herself. The dead poet Robert Lowell reappears as a high school student. Meanwhile, at a butterfly farm, the protagonist dishes up some unconventional environmental justice. Even the ones who kill with oil spills have a voice in this bizarre primer of the exquisite, the mundane, and the insane.
In a near future of zero tolerance, Big Brother is not entirely born of the government. He is also your local news, your social media friends and followers, your neighbors. Everything you say and do is monitored - and judged. Almost overnight, the fabric of society has dissolved into a culture of carrions: a murder of crows.
Alicia Deats is a new teacher chaperoning her very first high school trip to Washington DC, and nothing could be more terrifying than a class full of horny, backstabbing, boundary-pushing teenagers under her watch. To make matters worse, she embarrassed herself with her cochaperone Bryan Kenner with one too many margaritas and an ill-placed vomiting incident at last year's teacher mixer and is hoping this trip can be a fresh start for them.
This is the story about a fictitious donut factory where all they do is make donuts. The production manager, a curious fellow with an even curious-er name - Mr. Sales Manager, is in charge of collecting the donuts and taking them to his regional manager, who then passes them on to the factory owner. One day Sales Manager's boss came to him with a direct order - "Sales...you have to make more donuts!" In fact they wanted Sales to make twice as many donuts, without adding staff or any other support. (Sound familiar?)
Apocalypse All the Time is post-post-apocalypticism. The apocalypse happens on a weekly (if not daily) basis and Marshall is sick of it. Life is constantly in peril, constantly disrupted, but nothing significant every really happens as a result. It's always handled. Marshall wants out; he wants it all to end. In short, the book explores what about the end times holds such fascination for humanity and what impact such a fascination has on the way we live our lives.
Prejudice takes place in a plethora of forms. It sprouts a rare growth when a clerk called Coinman can't stop jingling the coins in his pocket. It's a seemingly harmless addiction, but it's one that comes to rule his life and begins to invite the wrath of virtually everyone around him. His work environment becomes increasingly hostile, while his life at home begins to suffer as a result of his wife's obsession with acting. When an attempt to remedy the situation goes horribly wrong, it spurs those involved onto unexpected paths.
My work as a computer geek has me traveling around the world, solving mysteries and fighting bad guys. Sometimes with my friends, but always with trouble by my side. So you'd think I would've expected to be plagued by danger when I headed to Egypt with my best friend, Elvis Zimmerman, and boyfriend, Slash, to help track down Elvis's missing and estranged father. Nope. Genius runs in the family, and we quickly discovered Elvis's father is hot on the trail of an ancient and elusive artifact, one that people are willing to kill to find.
Imogen is supposed to be on the most romantic weekend of her life and instead she's quickly realised that her current boyfriend definitely isn't ‘The One' and is actually One Big Mistake. Frankie is fed up. Fed up of her good-for-nothing husband and her four unappreciative children. Well, they hardly notice her anyway, so maybe it's time to shake it up a little.... Grace thought she had the perfect life. Gorgeous little boy and perfect, hardworking husband. Or rather, she did, until she realised her husband was shagging his 'work'.
Three homeless men are squatting in a stranger's house for the week, only to find not everything is as it seems.
Tammy Everett's suspicious, overly-protective father, Harry, does everything he can to crush her relationship with the hard-living Todd Cartwright. Todd is not about to give up the greatest thing that's ever happened to him and goes to war with Harry. But a few days before the wedding, tragedy rocks both Todd and Harry's world, sending them crashing into a depth of heartache and anger that neither man knows how to handle.
BBC TV and Radio's Bob Servant, self-styled 'hero of Dundee', addresses life's problems for you and offers practical solutions you won't find anywhere else.
Lady Justice has unwittingly entered a religious war. Who better to fight for her than Walt Williams? Walt and his sweetie, Maggie, have just returned from a honeymoon that was packed with love, fun, mystery, and danger. Now it's time for them to adjust to living under the same roof - quite the challenge for a couple in their sixties, both of whom have never been married before! But nothing could be better than having Maggie by his side when a great threat arises and Walt is, as usual, smack dab in the middle.
It has been 105 years since writer Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, took his final breath. But, nearly identical in appearance, personality, and authentic dress, you would think he was sitting in Tom's living room today - a traveler brought here through some freak accident involving time and space.
Graduating university is an emotional time for everyone. But when a group of ex-students decide to spend one last night together at a zombie experience facility to create lasting memories, none of them anticipate just how memorable it will turn out to be. It quickly becomes apparent that the undead actors are very good at what they do. Too good. Armed with only an arsenal of Nerf guns, the group quickly figure out that they'll need more than foam bullets and sandwiches to get them through the night.
ABAM.info presents two short comedic tales, suitable for children old and young. Includes the stories Leprecolony and Space: The Final Papier.
Bubba and Uncle Father Joe head to the happiest place in the world to find out what's messing up Joe's ex-girlfriend's career making a museum exhibition of monster and demon summoning apparatus. Yeah - haunted magical objects from all over the world, all stuck in the same place. What could go wrong? Turns out the answer is plenty, and Bubba is going to need all the help he can get to survive this one.
This is a darkly humorous debut series from Edward C. Harwell. With razor-sharp precision and startling emotional insight, Who Is the Sun King? is a portrait of urban psychosis, garnished with details of a suicide, that quickly develops into Sol Liddens' struggle to find a way out of London's West End, which leads to a term in Clifton House Rehabilitation Centre.
Three years have passed since the Jamaicans caused the apocalypse, and things in post-Armageddon Chicago have settled into a new kind of normal. Unfortunately, that "normal" includes collapsing skyscrapers, bands of bloodthirsty maniacs, and a dwindling cache of survival supplies. After watching his family, friends, and most of the non-sadistic elements of society crumble around him, Patrick decides it's time to cross one last item off his bucket list. He's going to Disney World.
And the adventures of Anne continue. Find out how things are progressing with her hot neighbor and catch up with the houseboys in the sequel to It's An Anne Thing. You will be laughing, giggling, rolling your eyes, and shaking your head at the latest developments in the life of Anne.
Sofia is just a normal high school girl, worried about getting her homework done and looking cool in the lunchroom, when he shows up: a devastatingly handsome new kid, mysteriously covered in decaying bandages, and staring at her from the empty holes where his eyes should be. She thinks he's just a hipster, but is there more to this handsome stranger than meets the eye? Yes. He's a mummy. We're not really making a secret about this. The twist is he's a mummy.